Our Goo and heartbreak

Lily, our Goo, started getting sickly in mid December.  She just lay in one spot and I would have to make her eat or go to the litter box.  Just lifeless.  I took her to the vet every day the week of Christmas 2010.  Dr. Lange said she had a bowel/bladder infection.  He also said she had some possible neoplasm in her lungs.  Gave us some medicine and had me bring her back for observation and fluids.  She got perkier the week after Christmas and we thought all would be well.  New Years Eve she had started getting tired again.  That week she just kept getting more weak.  I had to bring food and water and take her to the litter box.  I called the vet and he said this is probably the way it's going to be.  They could pump her up with fluids, she would do better then she would go back down.  We were going to have to make a very hard decision.  Because of Scott's health issues, I am usually worn to a frazzle.  Doing everything for Goo was just too much.  I can't do it all.  Saturday, January 8, 2011, we took our precious friend to let her rest.  We went in and I had her special blanket folded in front of me.  They coaxed her out of her carrier and she ran to me on her blanket and hid her head under my arm.  It's like she knows.  She did.  Dr. Lange gave her a shot of Versed and we went to sit and hold her while she got relaxed and just talked to her and pet her and loved her.  She just lay there, refusing to shut her eyes.  Scott finally said he couldn't do it anymore, it hurt too bad.  We sat there a few more minutes and then let them have her.  They told us we could wait in our car and they would bring her to us.  A few minutes later, out they came with her cardboard casket.  I boohooed all the way home.  I had to help Scott in the house and get him settled then I went out for her.  I sobbed as I had to pick up the box and bring it in.  Heartbreak.  I should have been able to do more.  She was perfect but I just couldn't do it all.  I went to Lowe's and bought a plastic storage box that would hold her box so we could bury her and not risk something digging her up.  Dylan and I started digging and my mom and stepfather came soon to help.  I put her play mice in with her and surrounded her cardboard box with kitty litter then closed the lid on the plastic box.  We put her in the ground, covered her up.  It snowed the next day and covered it up.  It's like nature didn't want us to have to look at it.
She was the best cat I have ever had.  I was just lucky she let me live here.  It was her house, her man, her boys.  I miss her something terrible.  She was the first thing I saw every morning and the last thing I saw every night.  I have never had to have a pet put to sleep and I hope to never do it again.  My last pet was Duke.  I lost her when I was 16 and never had another.  It will be a long time before another comes into my life.  It hurts too bad.  I'm broken.